Dreaming Potency

The proving of a medicine prepared from the bark of a tree by the Sangomas of South Africa using a method known as Ubulawo
Janet Snowdon.

Any proving requires dedication and hard work and Dreaming Potency was no exception. My grateful thanks go first to Nelson and Muriel Ngqase of Mandela Township outside Cape Town for their inspiration and for their prescription for my dream which led to the proving.

There are no telephones or post boxes in Mandela Township and I am grateful to Dr Renee Usdin for introducing me to the sangomas in the first place and enabling continuing communication with them.

The greatest part of the work is of course carried out by the provers and supervisors. I would like to thank them all, especially my supervisors, Sophie Dutordoir, Helen Guillam, Alan Harvey, Judy Mistral, Richard Napper and Penny Stirling, not only for their hard work but also for their companionship on the journey upon which we embarked.

Last but not least I am very grateful to Peter Fraser for his encouragement and patience and skill in bringing about order and coherence whilst maintaining the spirit and meaning of the proving.

During the winter of 1996 I spent some time in South Africa with two traditional healers, Sangomas. I would visit them at the end of the day. As the African night fell I would sit with them in a shack in a poor township on the outskirts of Cape Town and they would tell me about their work. From time to time one needs a renewal in one’s work and as I sat and listened to their stories of dreams, their ancestral past, their perceptions of what needed to be cured I felt an excitement and an inspiration that have remained with me. I was being allowed to partake of a profound and ancient wisdom.

One night whilst in South Africa I had a vivid dream. I dreamt I was in a room at one end of which, with the sunlight streaming through the window onto their gleaming coats, were two frolicking golden Labradors. At the other end of the room, next to where I was standing, was a ceiling to floor cupboard, in front of which hung a curtain. I knew I had to sort out the cupboard, but had been avoiding the task. I decided to do it then. I drew back the curtain. The cupboard was empty except for an emaciated, shivering black dog with a large sore on its left side. It was lying on the floor. As I watched in horror, realising I had placed the dog in the cupboard without food or water hoping it would die, it crawled out to join the gamboling labradors.

The next day I was due to visit the Sangomas. I asked them if I could relate my dream. To the African dreams are a vital part of their daily existence. There is no conflict between «the conscious mind» and «the dreaming self». Each is equally important and dreams follow thoughts as night follows day. Dreams have a long and wide association with medicine, both as uncomfortable symptoms requiring treatment and also because of their perceived significance and power.

In African society it is not only that dreams are seen as potentially healing, but generally more regard is given to their power than in the West. Sangomas are usually called to their vocation by dreams. Sometimes the master healer to whom they should apprentice themselves appears in a dream. Dreams are often used for diagnosis as also are meditative states into which a Sangoma goes to allow inspiration to arise. Patients take their dreams to Sangomas for advice.

I recounted my dream. The Western Psychotherapeutic interpretation is not difficult. African healers do not interpret dreams. Having listened to my dream the chief healer, Nelson, told me that the black dog was the most important aspect of my life at the present time and would lead me forward. I explained that I didn’t like the black dog and had wanted it to die. His reply was that what I felt was due to an «ill wind» and he would give me something to heal my dream.

I returned the following day and was given a powder which was to be dissolved in a large tin of water and then «frothed up» with a forked stick. I was to smear the frothing liquid on my face and inhale it. As the liquid in the tin decreased I was to add more water and continue frothing! This was not the only idea that Nelson and Hahnemann shared. I was told I would dream more dreams, many of which I would not like. This proved to be correct.

On my return to England the «frothing liquid» was potentised and named temporarily «Dreaming Potency» as at this time I was unaware of what it was. I conducted a proving. The methods I used were based on Jeremy Sherr’s book «The Dynamics and Methodology of Homeopathic Provings».

I would like to present the proving as it developed without too much of my own interpretation and observation. However, there are a couple of occurrences worth mentioning. The main theme that emerged was that of the feminine. Provers spoke of feeling «soft and feminine» of «allowing things to happen» instead of making decisions and pursuing them to the end.

The provers dream lives were rich and varied. I learnt after I conducted the proving that the Sangomas use Ubulawo to induce dreams to clear the psyche for more dreams to arise to help the person along their path in life. Several of the provers sunk onto a deep depression and became immersed in their shadow side.

A student from the Burren School of Homeopathy gave me an interesting piece of information. It is well-known that Winston Churchill suffered constant bouts of depression throughout his life. What is less well-known is that he called these depressions «my black dog». It was whilst I was on a Winston Churchill travelling scholarship that I had my dream of the black dog that led to this proving.

There is no doubt that any involvement in a proving enriches not so much one’s knowledge but rather one’s understanding of the homeopathic and healing process in a unique way. An illustration of this is the fact that that he prover who received Sac Lac produced symptoms that embodied the essence of the proving, «felt soft, round and feminine» and «the depression I went through in the middle of this proving has knocked me off my feet a bit, and the motivation for life in general is not there in the same way as before».

What does this mean? I always feel questions are more important than answers, that questions will keep us alive to ideas beyond the grasp of reason. Without the help of teachers such as Jung the Sangomas understood that man at some point reaches the edge of certainty beyond which conscious knowledge cannot pass, that the unconscious communicates with the conscious mind through the medium of symbols, dreams, myths and rituals. The time I spent with the Sangomas and conducting the proving of what they prescribed to me gave me a glimpse into the deepest layers of our being, that part of the human being that always remains unfathomable, beyond the reach of our rational understanding. I was reminded of the lines of T.S.Eliot:

The endless cycle of idea and action,
Endless invention, endless experiment,
Brings knowledge of motion, but not of stillness;
Knowledge of speech, but not of silence;
Knowledge of words, and ignorance of the Word.
All our knowledge brings us nearer to our ignorance,
All our ignorance brings us nearer to death,
But nearness to death, no nearer to GOD.
Where is the Life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?

The Substance
did not decide to do a proving of the remedy given to me by the sangomas to heal my dream until after my return to Britain. Since then I have been trying to discover the name of the substance, but have only been able to ascertain that it is the ground up bark of a tree. This has been partly due to the difficulty of communicating at a distance with people who do not have access to communications that we take for granted. The greater reason, however, is that in the past the generosity and trust of the local sangomas in the sharing of their expertise and knowledge has been grossly betrayed. Without their permission or recompense to their communities the knowledge the sangomas so freely shared has been used by drug companies to patent medicines thereby enriching themselves with no interest in or concern for the people they are robbing or the land they are denuding.

It is perhaps fitting that the remedy will be known as Dreaming Potency, the name by which I have known it since before the proving began.

Pharmaceutical preparation.

Some of the frothing mixture given to me by Nelson was taken to Helios Homoeopathic Pharmacy where it was triturated to 3c and then succussed to 30c by the method described by Hahnemann in the footnotes to paragraph 270 of the Organon.

Mind Symptoms
Calm & Relaxed.

Sensation that time is passing quite slowly. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

Felt quite high again today. I was tired and spacey this afternoon, not at all wound up by people in the shop — still feeling very removed and on the outside of things. This is a pleasant feeling and I am still functioning perfectly well in my work. 16P 02 XX.XX NS

Generally good in myself. In control, confident, calm. Not quite so patient with children arguing in school holidays! (Also mother-in-law staying.) 13P 21 XX.XX NS

Felt more patient than usual. 10P 04 XX.XX NS

Feeling high. 16P 01 02.00 NS

Haven’t flown off handle — calmer than would expect. 14P 02 XX.XX NS

Feeling much better. Like old self. Confidence and feeling good returned. 18P 05 XX.XX NS

Much more laid back about everything than I was at the beginning of the week. 15P 04 XX.XX NS

Mother-in-law’s visit fairly painless — usually a strain. 13P 21 XX.XX NS

Less irritated by mother than usual. Relatively painless. 13P 32 XX.XX NS

Felt safe in the bath even without my glasses on and everything blurred I did not worry. 15P 01 23.00 NS

She seemed calmer, more centred, less tense. Energy good. 07P 01 XX.XX NS

Smiling, laughing more, colleagues observed this one week prior to proving. 07P 05 XX.XX NS

At family visit, someone observed I was more relaxed — usually I keep moving, looking for best seat. 14P 00 XX.XX NS

Left work without a problem resolved — wouldn’t usually go unless last ‘i’ was dotted. I’m known for being the one to get things done. 14P 04 XX.XX NS

Sense of well-being, as yesterday. Enjoy being with people. 09P 07 XX.XX NS

Sense of well being and happiness! Enjoy being alone and being with friends. Much energy. 09P 06 XX.XX NS

A little spaced out during the day-more focused and at peace in the evening. 09P 05 XX.XX NS

Feeling relaxed, accepting of things as they are rather than accelerating. 01P 06 XX.XX NS

Relaxed sense of well-being. 03P 01 XX.XX NS

Rarely have this sense of goodness pervading everything. So well, positive, physically and emotionally. 13P 11 XX.XX NS

The remedy has kicked off something in me, but something good. I had been feeling really anxious, now I feel relaxed. 16P 07 XX.XX NS

Relaxed — taking time to do things. 03P 02 XX.XX NS

A bit floaty still, but good. 16P 08 XX.XX NS

Felt good despite strain of watching elderly parents’ pain. 02P 02 XX.XX NS

Sense of well-being, not needing to rush — calm and relaxed. 02P 01 XX.XX NS

Thinking of changing the way he lives his life. He would like less responsibility. Feeling less and less inclined to go anywhere, dealing with things more calmly. 01P 19 XX.XX NS

Relaxed, calmer, unfrazzled. A feeling of letting things flow along rather than thrashing myself and getting as much work done in a day as possible. 13P 10 XX.XX NS

Have been pacing myself really well — no panicky feelings. Standing back and doing a bit at a time. 13P 11 XX.XX NS

Stressful today and felt coped better than usual. No significant feelings of stress. 13P 14 XX.XX NS

Really appreciate feelings of being calm and unfrazzled. 13P 15 XX.XX NS

More relaxed less worrying about what will happen, allowing things to happen instead of making decisions and pursuing them to the end. 01P 02 XX.XX NS

Lots of play at work. I felt similar to before — a bit high, but coming back into myself more and more. 16P 04 XX.XX NS

Restless & Irritable.

Irritable, restless and impatient. 04P 11 XX.XX NS

Irritability at children — lost temper with them because I felt so cross at friend invading my space. Like pre-menstrual temper. 18P 06 XX.XX NS

Can’t get enough walking, walk the long way home. 04P 07 XX.XX NS

Feel better outside. 04P 07 XX.XX NS

Irritable. 04P 09 XX.XX NS

Irritability at son having a friend in the home. 14P 03 XX.XX NS

Felt irritable in the evening. Impatient. 09P 02 XX.XX NS

Much better outside. 04P 11 XX.XX NS

Tired and irritable, much worse outside. 04P 16 XX.XX NS

Restlessness, pacing. 15P 01 12.15 NS

Easily agitated, stressed and irritable. Angry and upset when things don’t go right. 09P 03 XX.XX NS

Irritability at trivialities — at home. 14P 00 XX.XX NS

Stressed and agitated in the morning. Felt better with friends. 09P 03 XX.XX NS

Couldn’t stop, didn’t sit down all day. Couldn’t settle to sit down and read. 18P 01 XX.XX NS

Restless, uncomfortable feeling. 04P 05 XX.XX NS

Feel I must get going. 04P 03 XX.XX NS

Sensitive to noise, to traffic outside which I don’t usually notice. 18P 21 XX.XX NS

Restless. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

Feel better going for a long walk in the countryside. To begin with the walking was an effort and not enjoyable which is very unusual. 04P 02 XX.XX NS

Felt almost pre-menstrual. Very quick to fly off the handle and bingeing on chocolate and sweets. Feel fat and guilty. 18P 17 XX.XX NS

Excessive nervous energy. 04P 04 XX.XX NS

Mood has become quite bolshy and giggly: high. 16P 01 04.00 NS

Feel more and more like being outside; Feel more and more like moving around. 04P 03 XX.XX NS

Looking for an excuse to go and work outside. 04P 05 XX.XX NS

Vague longing for something tangible. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

On waking immediately want to go outside. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

Feeling more and more like being outside. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

Restless. Concentration difficult, sensation that time is passing slowly. Feel like sitting, staring into space. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

Oversensitive. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Feeling twitchy e.g.; tapping pen a lot, a bit speedy. Distracted in conversation, not «all there». 16P 01 01.30 NS

Order & Simplicity.

Feel that I don’t want any trappings. I want to be in a whitewashed cell. 04P 02 XX.XX NS

Spent uncharacteristic amount of time tidying up and putting things in order. 04P 04 XX.XX NS

Irritability at son’s room being untidy. 14P 11 XX.XX NS

Feel an urge to get rid of everything that isn’t functional. 04P 03 XX.XX NS

More diligent, mental clarity, more task orientated. 07P 05 XX.XX NS

A brief «clarity» flashback. 15P 15 XX.XX NS

Argumentative with his supervisor at work. Felt she was going too much by the book and it wasn’t sensible. 15P 02 XX.XX NS

The phrase «let me make a few things perfectly clear» stuck in my mind. 15P 03 XX.XX NS

Confused & Forgetful.

Difficult to focus on anything practical. 09P 08 XX.XX NS

Generally since remedy concentration changed, have had to work hard to remember things. As though something switched off. Things disappear out of my head. 18P 06 XX.XX NS

Lost ankle chain — quite precious. 18P 09 XX.XX NS

Absent-minded — drove through red light. 18P 36 XX.XX NS

Can’t spell — have to keep checking with people. 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Thoughts tumbling in streams. Too untogether to cook. Very unusual as I am usually very efficient and organised. 03P 01 XX.XX NS

I became disconnected — couldn’t figure out how to fit a compressor together. Disconnected and inability to follow a task through grew. Felt spaced out — forgot thoughts very quickly. Found it hard to follow instructions. 03P 01 XX.XX NS

Incoherent, unusual. 03P 02 XX.XX NS

Still slightly spaced out. Left her car keys on a table in the restaurant. Never usually do things like that. 03P 02 XX.XX NS

Felt spaced out. Whilst dreaming doing tasks forget where I had left the tools I had just been using and became cluttered. 04P 01 XX.XX NS

Crystal — chain fell off neck. Haven’t taken it off for 3-4 months. I’d be devastated if I lost it. 18P 02 XX.XX NS

As if brain has got a cloud over it. 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Felt excessively woolly regarding practical events. 09P 03 XX.XX NS

Feeling a little forgetful still. 04P 03 XX.XX NS

Concentration difficult, 04P 06 XX.XX NS

Concentration lost when driving — forgot where brake was. 18P 06 XX.XX NS

A bit spaced out and sleepy. Hard to focus on anything. Slightly irritable. Mind agitated with many thoughts. Sleepy — need to sleep for a while. Better for talking with people later on. 09P 01 XX.XX NS

Focused & Creative.

Certainly feel good about myself. Much more positive about appearance than for a long time. Feeling very confident and positive; on top of everything. Feeling of knowing where I stand. These feelings lasted for a long time after proving. 13P 42 XX.XX NS

Woke up feeling much clearer this morning. I felt very playful with people, very loud and expressive, comical — but most important very «out» with everything — almost too much at times. This created the opportunity for the same playfulness from other people around me, which was really lovely to be in and around. 16P 03 XX.XX NS

Able to complete things at work. Almost withdrawing from people in order to concentrate. Started long-outstanding jobs that had been on the table for months. 14P 01 XX.XX NS

Feeling in control, especially with problem or work. Able to cope with anything. 14P 03 XX.XX NS

Felt able to put a teacher in her place when thought she had misunderstood something about my son — normally would feel subservient. 14P 03 XX.XX NS

Felt very clear today, not sucked in or engaged emotionally — on the outside again. 16P 05 XX.XX NS

Want to take work (tackling tricky job) slowly rather than dashing in as I normally do. 13P 05 XX.XX NS

Feel more patient playing with daughter. 17P 01 XX.XX NS

Relaxed, clear and under control. 02P 02 XX.XX NS

Lots of energy. 02P 04 XX.XX NS

Good energy and concentration. 02P 07 XX.XX NS

Confidence back. 18P 26 XX.XX NS

Quite focused and creative. Feel as if I’m in a «mind» space, not very physical or emotional. 09P 02 XX.XX NS

Good mental clarity. 07P 09 XX.XX NS

Feel the need to write poetry-haven’t done that for a few years. Very satisfying. 09P 02 XX.XX NS

More focused after a movement practice. Feels like there’s a lot of sexual energy accumulating that spaces me out when it’s not channelled. Better for movement practice, more grounded. 09P 09 XX.XX NS

Clear and focused. Sense of well being. Realised as the day went on that it’s okay to let my heart «be in love». I can only be aware of the possibility of creating illusion but I can’t let that fear close my heart to what I feel. I feel relieved and peaceful with this. 09P 04 XX.XX NS

Indecisive & Listless.

Reluctant to rise in morning, feeling distant. 04P 05 XX.XX NS

Feeling of being too full and inactive although routine hasn’t changed. 04P 11 XX.XX NS

Sensation that time is passing slowly. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

Feel like sitting, staring into space. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

Listless. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

Full moon. Lethargic and argumentative. Really tired by 11pm. Couldn’t be bothered to have a bath. Big argument with wife. 15P 07 XX.XX NS

Has forgotten to shave all week. 15P 05 XX.XX NS

Boredom, unusual. 18P 04 XX.XX NS

Confidence gone. 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Can’t be bothered with anything, want to be quiet — stare at walls. 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Remedy seemed to be a lot to do with family. I feel very earthbound, solid, heavy, as though I’ve grown roots but ones that I don’t really want because they’re making me feel a big dragged down, pulling me down too far, making me too serious, thinking a lot. As though I couldn’t flow if I wanted to whereas before you couldn’t get me down. 18P 25 XX.XX NS

Sighing a lot. 18P 02 XX.XX NS

Spent the afternoon feeling a bit dreamy, lacking concentration , purposeless. 04P 01 XX.XX NS

Feel OK, just no energy. Leaden like there was a weight on me. 13P 01 XX.XX NS

Have decided to take things easy. I’ve had enough. Fed up. Don’t want to do any more. 13P 01 01.00 NS

Wanted to put things off, let them slip. 14P 07 XX.XX NS

Gentle & Feminine.

Very focused and clear sense of well-being. Very peaceful, centred and grounded. Very peaceful being alone. » In love » feelings more embodied. Soft, warm heart. Good energy. 09P 10 XX.XX NS

Someone else who saw her at this time said she looked wonderful, whole being glowing. 13P 11 XX.XX NS

During proving have felt very protective about the children. Haven’t wanted to leave them sometimes. Haven’t always wanted them to go to social things. Didn’t want daughter to go back to school. Note also she did not want company and wanted to be at home at times. 18P 00 XX.XX NS

In general I feel more in tune with myself. I feel softer and round within and maybe more feminine. I am able to relax in a better way and do not feel pressurised and stressed by work. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Felt soft and round and feminine. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Pre-menstrual, feel very yielding and quiet — difficult to function in daily life. Just want to rest and be still and warm. Body and mind slows down, have to do everything very slowly. 09P 22 XX.XX OS

Expression of feminist views more mellow and gentle. 07P 04 XX.XX NS

Hard to stay in my body — a little obsessed with «in love» feelings and fantasies! Much more at ease in the evening. 09P 05 XX.XX NS

Suddenly burst into tears. Feeling as if the sadness and longing I’ve been carrying the past few days has dropped from head into my heart, now I can really «feel» it in my body, have to cry a lot, and it feels good, quite a relief. 09P 01 00.30 NS

Waves of sadness and crying. Leaves me feeling soft and vulnerable. As afternoon goes on, the sadness feels sweet and bearable and it’s easier to be alone. 09P 01 XX.XX NS

Sense of well being most of the time. Steeped in «in love» feelings. Very enjoyable most of the time-but hard to be in daily life. Easily pulled out of my body and into fantasy. My love lives in Germany, so I suppose it’s understandable. Distance feeds the dream! 09P 08 XX.XX NS

Nervous & Vulnerable.

Feel as if a life crisis is upon me. 04P 01 XX.XX NS

The whole red stuff is much less powerful today, still interesting but lacks a compulsive element. 15P 02 XX.XX NS

I had a very strange experience. I was sitting knitting a cardigan for my baby nephew and watching a programme on TV called «invasion». It was a film about UFOs invading and it was filmed as a documentary. they showed them landing in all the major cities in the world. I flipped out and thought it was real. Fear shot through my body and I has to get up and phone partner then I relaxed and thought, maybe they (the aliens) are nice people anyway. 16P 06 XX.XX NS

Irritable, easily angered. «Don’t do anything to me!» 12P 00 XX.XX NS

My introspective mood made me feel self-conscious to the extent that as my turn in the queue at a check — out came up I couldn’t form words and only managed a grunted «thank you». 04P 01 XX.XX NS

Nervous and restless, mood deepens into self-piteous pit. 04P 01 XX.XX NS

Feeling as if being watched. As if everyone waiting for me to fail or trip up. 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Unsettled after seeing family. Think about past, my parents, and about future and moving house. 18P 18 XX.XX NS

Introspective mood made me self-conscious, not enjoying the proximity of people, especially men. 04P 01 XX.XX NS

Became nervous thinking about going to supper with friends, being with people. 04P 01 XX.XX NS

More vulnerable — could cope less well in an emotionally charged situation. 13P 25 XX.XX NS

Feel anxious on waking. 04P 04 XX.XX NS

Feel I have lots to worry about although I don’t have anything more than usual. Anxious about money. (not usually) 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Estranged & Alone.

Something made me go and visit my father — very much a duty thing. Weird being in family home, as if time had stood still, as though last 4 years hadn’t happened. While I was there didn’t think of mother much [mother died some time ago] which was strange whereas when I’m at home think about her all the time. She’s here when I’m here, but it’s like when I went back she wasn’t there. 18P 12 XX.XX NS

Suddenly thought I should take children to see my father. He hasn’t seen them for years. So tried to phone my brother but he wasn’t there. Soon after the doorbell rang and it was my brother who I haven’t seen for years, he never usually calls. 18P 07 XX.XX NS

Want to be on my own at the moment. 18P 00 XX.XX NS

Want to be on own. No space for me. 18P 29 XX.XX NS

Didn’t want to go to party so stayed home. 18P 05 XX.XX NS

Felt distanced, wanted to be at home, indecisive. 01P 01 XX.XX NS

Felt invaded when a friend came round. 18P 06 XX.XX NS

Sadness because children at mother-in-law’s. Sadness with tearfulness (during menses). 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Very moody before period. Partner was away and I expected to enjoy some space on my own, but I missed him and didn’t like it. I think I’m insane — don’t write that down. 16P 28 XX.XX NS

Averse to company — I wanted to remain quite anonymous. Craved(?) to live with my experience and not talk about it. I don’t want anyone to intrude — certainly would not have wanted to go for a cup of tea with anyone (unusual). 13P 01 XX.XX NS

The biggest emotional issue that I have in my life is regarding my relationship. Whether I live in Bristol with him or not. I feel that other than him there is very little here to feed my growth any more. I have another option — which is to move to France/Spain. This is all rising up to the surface in a big way these last 2 days, And it is being met with clarity, more clarity than in recent weeks — a heavy merciless «in your face» clarity — Ground Zero. 16P 02 XX.XX NS

Wanted to be on my own. 03P 05 XX.XX NS

Wake in a hopelessly self-irritable mood, feeling as if I am at the mercy of moods and depressions. Feeling alone. 04P 02 XX.XX NS

Homesick. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

I felt doubtful and anxious about what I was doing. I felt I don’t want to live in Bristol. I feel detached, separate, as if observing myself being here but not really being here. I felt exhausted from having so many dreams. I have the feeling as if images have been projected into may mind from elsewhere. How can they come so many and so quick and so vivid? I feel like a receptacle. They feel so strange. 16P 28 XX.XX NS

Slept on the sofa last night, after an argument with wife. (He withdraws when depressed, she gets angry with him for withdrawing and he withdraws further. This is their usual pattern). 15P 05 XX.XX RS

Felt better with few people around. 03P 02 XX.XX NS

Had a total breakdown of communication with partner again. It went from a simple question into reaction on reaction on reaction until almost violent. I’m inside this and outside. My body feels strange — humming. At one point during the argument, he came into the room and I «psychically» felt a blow or attack of some kind. It shot out of his eyes and body at me. We went to sleep together in harmony like a storm that was allowed to rampage, but didn’t really touch anything, again almost as if I was on the outside and could see it as something unimportant and just walk into and out of it and let it go. 16P 03 XX.XX NS

Disconnected & Uncommunicative.

Introspective mood all afternoon and didn’t communicate with anyone . 04P 01 XX.XX NS

Feel very disconnected today — remote and removed. My stomach is very uneasy. I don’t feel that I’m processing things very well and it’s evident by the feeling in my stomach. I’ve had powerful dreams but no time to digest them. 16P 10 XX.XX NS

Feel as though I’m in a plastic bubble — didn’t feel part of the world as though everything going on around me — nothing and no one can touch me. 18P 18 XX.XX NS

Feel very uncomfortable with myself. 18P 12 XX.XX NS

Wake up feeling cold and distant, disconnected from my feelings. Irritated by anything superficial and mundane. This changes after a few hours of expression and support with my friend, PMT. 09P 18 XX.XX OS

Detached and not able to do anything to feel better. Not able to say what I want to do. 17P 07 XX.XX NS

As I write this I see my hands and they feel separate from me but still mine. 15P 01 12.05 NS

At meeting with proving supervisor didn’t want to talk or discuss anything. 15P 02 18.00 NS

Partner and I argued and slept apart. Woke up feeling very flat. During the argument I was aware of everything but felt removed. All our doubts and fears came to the surface like a volcano. He was pushing me for a commitment to stay for 6 months. I knew I was so out of it, I couldn’t give it. At the same time, clarity, like you feel you’re looking at something from above: clarity like being pushed down into the ground — merciless. I felt very clear about us being at opposite poles. I refused to give him an answer. I was not angry at all, just removed. I knew that whatever I was feeling, I shouldn’t talk about it. I don’t want to engage. Normally I would feel like I need to resolve it there and then. 16P 01 XX.XX NS

I’m feeling more heady again with deep quietness and a slightly estranged sensation — estranged from myself, a bit like being on the outside again. 16P 03 22.00 NS

This remedy pulls you so quickly down to earth, you see things without emotional attachment. I remember in a dream from 3 months ago, that a woman came to me with a book and showed me written very clearly all the issues in my relationship with partner. I felt completely removed and there was no judgement. Last night I felt in that space of not wanting to talk, to feel the situation as it was, but to sit with myself and see it clearly. She lost her train of thought half way through a sentence. 16P 01 XX.XX NS

While having an imaginary conversation with someone in his head, it seemd to him that the whole person was there, not just their ideas or voice or the image of their face. It was a conversation in my head and there was no question about that, but the person I was speaking to was there in their entirety. 15P 26 XX.XX NS

All evening. I feel heavy. I’m finding it difficult to communicate verbally — to find the energy to find words to articulate — removed to the extent that it doesn’t matter. Answering direct questions is particularly difficult. 16P 01 XX.XX NS

Hands are very clear and noticeably separate from body and seem larger. Similar feeling about the colour yellow to those he had about the colour red, as if it were something to hold onto. It offers a sense of security. 15P 26 XX.XX NS

I’ve been feeling a little spacey, a bit high, a bit removed, like watching a film rather than actually being a part of my life — sometimes feeling totally removed. Most of the time this is a pleasant feeling, but sometimes alienating, particularly when anyone needs a grounded form of contact or communication with me. 16P 01 08.00 NS

Depressed & Frustrated.

Awoke feeling frustrated and aimless. 04P 03 XX.XX NS

At 11.15 felt really depressed and lay on the sofa again. Didn’t want to move and would stay dead still until I had to move and then would take another position and stay still there. 15P 05 23.15 NS

Feelings of futility. 03P 03 XX.XX NS

Premenstrually, I felt really, really depressed, negative and self-destructive, the opposite to how I was after the remedy. The depression passed a few days before my period started, on getting the moment I got on the train to go away for the weekend. 16P 28 XX.XX NS

Feeling very pissed off and depressed. More bills and it is always such a struggle to survive. 15P 05 XX.XX NS

Feeling frustratingly futile. 04P 03 XX.XX NS

Feels shut down, no motivation, doesn’t care about anything. Depressed, worse every three weeks. Unwilling to talk about anything. 15P 40 XX.XX NS

Sadness on the first day of period. 10P 03 XX.XX NS

The depression I went through in the middle of this proving has knocked me off my feet a bit and the motivation for life in general was not there in the same way as before 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Tearful. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Very lethargic and depressed all day. 15P 06 XX.XX NS

Feel totally pissed off. The whole proving is bullshit and I don’t know why I am doing this. 15P 02 XX.XX NS

Strong dreams but unable to remember them. 01P 02 XX.XX NS

Sleep disturbed — dreamt about Gravesend where he was born. It was in the wrong place on the map. Difficulties and problems occurring in dreams. 01P 06 XX.XX NS

Full of dreams but as if a door then shuts and he remembers nothing. 01P 08 XX.XX NS

Feels like Orpheus and Lot’s wife, as on turning round to look at dreams they disappear. 01P 09 XX.XX NS

Dream of virtual reality football pitch, told off for touching it. 01P 15 XX.XX NS

He is in a group and he passes around metal rings. Everyone is holding a ring in the circle. There is a simultaneous group experience of being an old woman in the Wild West in a former life. 01P 15 XX.XX NS

Dreams escaped me. 03P 02 XX.XX NS

Dreams of dying. 03P 04 XX.XX NS

Dreams escaped me again. 03P 05 XX.XX NS

Still no dreams, perhaps they would be too much for me. 03P 09 XX.XX NS

Dreams still just out of reach — getting angry with them. 03P 11 XX.XX NS

Dreams of being stuck in the mud. 03P 27 XX.XX NS

I was running, not away from, or after in pursuit, but alongside someone or thing. 04P 01 XX.XX NS

Trying to make a window with problems and hassles, making it impossible to begin. 04P 03 XX.XX NS

Of being in a horror film. Woke feeling extremely frightened and unsure as to what was real and what wasn’t. 05P 05 XX.XX NS

Pre-proving (a day prior to proving): She was in a fascist, fundamentalist state, (Turkey). She had a map given to her by a friend, but as soon as she showed it to people they became nasty and turned against her. «I had to be got.» I had a baby in the dream but they stole it and were trying to drown it. There were two people in the dream trying to help me. The feeling in the dream was one of isolation, abandonment and being unsupported. I felt persecuted, physically threatened and isolated. Another feeling in the dream was that men were not to be trusted and women were treacherous. In the dream I was in a half waking state. It felt like film shots. I decided I needed journalists to come in and expose the abuse of human rights. I thought I heard someone on the stairs but I knew it was in the dream so I did not get up to look. 07P 00 XX.XX NS

In the garden at Beech Hill someone planted a willow arch, obstructing a view of sculptures. Her thought in the dream was «Did they have permission to plant this and was there a group discussion?» 07P 61 XX.XX NS

Very erotic dream! No details remembered. 09P 05 XX.XX NS

At a «community» — the man from the small bookshop in Bradford walks across the lawn, wearing an African skirt and I tell him how much my husband would love it. The people from the wholefood shop were there. The feeling was an awareness of the importance of a feeling of community, looking after everyone, staying in touch, knowing whether people are well or not, how they are. 10P 01 XX.XX NS

In hospital, in bed with husband, who had been diagnosed with a degenerative disease and had about 7 days before starting to die. We spent those 7 days naked in bed together. A lasting feeling of joy. 10P 01 XX.XX NS

On waking — alarm went off in middle of dream: A huge, fat man squeezing Hannah really aggressively. Extremely indignant — how dare he violate her in that way. Dream two weeks before remedy in which elderly frail neighbour was squeezed by her son — and Camilla just watched; everyone behaving like normal. Son is someone prover feels threatened by. Overall dream very assertive, very strong — forceful as opposed to thinking I should be doing it. 13P 22 XX.XX NS

Skyscraper city and the wild jungle struggling for supremacy. A friend (who in reality has only one kidney) was very afraid of being kicked and losing the remaining one. He didn’t want to go down into the New York subway but had to. 15P 01 XX.XX NS

At a meeting of friends by the river Dart on Dartmoor. I’m jealous, because an ex-lover fancies a friend of mine, she’s being particularly sexual and flirtatious. I wash with her and another women in the river. It’s very full, many boulders and rapids. I feel self-conscious about my nakedness. We end up in a muddy pool and I buy some Egyptian vessels that are displayed for sale on the rocks, a jug for water and a basket with a lid for bread. They’re closing the entrance to the river. My sister is with me and we have to pay for extra time. Included in the price is a ticket to join Amnesty, who are demonstrating at the source of the river where there are large gates. Wake up suddenly — feel strange and apprehensive and exposed as if I am still in the river, and its moving too fast. On reflection a while later, I feel a little excited as well. I’m in the river of life — sometimes it’s murky, sometimes clear. Can be rapid and still. I’m overwhelmed at the moment — feeling vulnerable and frightened but at least I’m not covering myself or hiding. I’m in there with the others — naked, jealous, self-conscious, frightened-but not running away. The ancient vessels feel very positive-they hold two vital substances for survival. Amnesty at the source of the river? — a group that supports prisoners of conscience. Perhaps as a human being-that’s what I am. Reassuring that at the source of the river is some support towards freedom! 09P 01 XX.XX NS

A group of people sitting in a circle — some sort of plot to homoeopathically take over the world. Misha was there and so was a man, who is very like Misha, except tall and thin, and was my mentor in learning the book trade. The main person was a very little old lady and she had a big, blue bottle that was something to do with great rage. Things were the wrong way round. Scarlet was a colour of great calm and peace. My sister-in-law (married to my brother who is a doctor and hates homoeopathy) came in and said she was putting on a baby alarm to listen to their daughter (who is no longer a baby). She was spying on us. 15P 01 XX.XX NS

Couldn’t remember any dreams (Quite unusual. He can usually remember something if he bothers to look for them). 15P 03 XX.XX NS

Issues of control. Celebrating a birthday at a pub. Avery masculine person in a red shirt was in charge. It all got out of hand. Someone was swinging on the chandelier, eventually breaking the place up. 15P 04 XX.XX NS

Get a card from a man I was in love with a few years ago — it really touches me. He is South African, and I’m sitting with him and another friend from South Africa in Mother Meera’s Darshan room. Mother Meera is dressed in western clothes (unusual for her), and looks much older. The room isn’t as full of people as it used to be. She doesn’t sit in silence. She says she wants to show us slides. I’m really surprised — she asks me if I will help her. Then she performs some tricks — takes some chunky gold earrings out of my pocket. I’m really shocked. I don’t feel she is an Avatar. The atmosphere is tense. Suddenly I’m out on the street looking for her house in a large town. I’m lost and frightened. I’m in a small boat with a little boy. We row towards some land. As we get closer, the sea slowly turns into ice. The land is covered in snow and there are many people in space suits. As we walk, the temperature decreases with every step until I can’t breathe. I collapse. The people put the boy in a machine so he can breathe. They help me to walk. I wake up feeling apprehensive — what’s going to happen today? I feel my aloneness. I’m not lonely, but a little afraid. The day feels like a long journey ahead of me. I’m afraid of becoming paralysed. I’m reminded of my struggle at the moment — trying to realise what is truth and what is illusion — a theme in many aspects of my life. I’m afraid of the trickster in me — of my ability to create illusion and believe in it. So I sometimes feel lost — afraid to feel anything too extreme (like recently — falling in love), in case it’s not true. The fear of being caught by the illusion freezes my heart. 09P 03 XX.XX NS

Was part of a research project, and I sussed that there was brain- washing going on, and that it was really the scientology group, yet they didn’t want to admit it. Lasting feeling of anger, and relief at figuring it out. Rebellious. 10P 01 XX.XX NS

Young boy takes old man bowling, with awareness of respect and care for one’s «elders». 10P 01 XX.XX NS

Two dreams last night in both of which I was being very strident and confrontational. 1. I saw two men dumping waste oil from cars into a stream and really laid into them. 2. A woman rang to complain about the building work we’re doing — I gave her pretty short shrift. In real life I never confront people if it can be avoided, I usually bottle it all up and silently argue it out in my head. 13P 10 XX.XX NS

Control dreams: people in computer controlled cars and controlling chemical reactions. 15P 06 XX.XX NS

Dreams of going against the grain or breaking a taboo. 15P 10 XX.XX NS

Dreams of cooking and making medicines and poisons. 15P 11 XX.XX NS

I was giving an old fashioned, 60s sort of middle class dinner party. Two couples were there. Another rather scruffy couple was robbing the house and I caught them and asked the other couples to hold them while I called the police. When I came back, the thieves were gone and the other couples were acting as if nothing had happened as they small talked with a whole crowd of other guests who were now there. I was absolutely incensed. 15P 26 XX.XX NS

Walking with his two children in the countryside. There was a very large, empty barn with beggars sleeping all around it. Then we were walking in the city. My daughter had found my glasses broken. The left lens was missing. I was not terribly concerned. We were walking along a street of very classy jewellers in the middle of the city. Then we went into a large steam bath type place that was more like an enormous laundry. 15P 31 XX.XX NS

A lot of dreams but I don’t remember them with clarity — more like impressions. An image of three bodies arched over and under each other, very rich in colours. Some friends in Brighton/Bristol were building me a room in their house. It was like a Tunisian style house, white and flat. They created a space for me that was half inside half outside. The inside bit was very simple — tiled floor, rug, big bed surrounded by a white muslin net. The outside was a half covered patio with a long bench which I could lie on and look up at the stars/sky. They wanted me to make love with one of them and he said something about never using a condom when he first makes love to someone. I sensed danger and refused to be with him. Being in a theatre which was extremely high up and kind of hung in the sky almost. As the orchestra was tuning up, I commented on the depth of the bass, which was making the orchestra literally tremble — how it was only a matter of time before the structure would collapse with this kind of vibrational abuse. The play began and seemed to be acted out amongst the audience rather than on stage — very rumbustuous and jovial language — almost clown-like and slapstick, also with singing. I have to go to another show somewhere in the building, moving through red velvet corridors. In France/Spain with girlfriends — issues about leaving or staying. Strong imagery of the country side, very beautiful and I felt very connected to it in the dream. 16P 03 XX.XX NS

Unremembered dreams after remedy. 16P 01 XX.XX NS

A lot of dreams but couldn’t remember them. 16P 02 XX.XX NS

A very long dream about staying next to a river. I remember flashes but not the continuity. It wasn’t England — maybe it was France? The river is all sorts of shades, widths, speeds. Very beautiful, nothing uncomfortable or threatening. Looking into the water, I see pools with fish, big and little. The big fish have faces, beautiful lime green and silver scales. I decide to go into the water, looking for a place with depth, as it varies. So I go in and just drift with the stream/river current, just taking it all in as I move with the water. Eventually the river becomes very wide and somehow I have been pushed to one side. There is a house or some community on the other side and I know that I want to go there. I look across the river and the distance seems vast, also the water is moving, but I decide to do it anyway, so I start to swim across, but it’s a strange sort of swimming. I am very nervous because of the width and the motion of the water. Then one time in the middle of the flow my foot catches the bottom and I realise that I can stand upright in the middle of it all. Suddenly, there are people all around me and I’m telling them the same. I feel happy and relaxed now — above all safe and its a confirmation of my courage. I reach the other side and go into a house. Most of this part is quite vague — I think my brother’s there — also someone from work with his wife. She is very affectionate with me showing me beautiful things he has — there is an erotic tension between us also. He takes me to his cupboard and pulls out a bag which opens out into the most beautifully rich bouquet of flowers. Hanging on the back of the cupboard door is a makeshift xylophone and he shows me a piece he has composed. I remember he has spent time in the Pacific and somehow the music reminds me of the Pacific Islands. There is warmth and depth all around. Everyone is very sunkissed, living outdoors all the time. We decide to walk around to the nest village, almost like a sea cliff path. I meet my brother again and some exchange takes place. As we are walking, these huge snorts come from the water and there are hundreds of people all around. The hippopotami become distressed and start to scare the people by jumping on two legs and splashing around. This is very effective and the crowd parts to leave them alone. We continue on our path and arrive somewhere. We meet two people and ask them where they’re going — hill walking is the reply. As they say this the landscape accommodates and creates hills. 16P 08 XX.XX NS

Dream about my mother being ill. 16P 03 XX.XX NS

Unremembered dream involving a magician and going on a rocket. 16P 06 XX.XX NS

Three dreams but I don’t really remember them. One is clear — the dream about a new flat and painting it jade green but as I painted, the wall paper peeled off and revealed a window. There was also a part where I was at work and all the windows had been obscured by paperwork and I couldn’t see out and so I felt extremely distressed and insisted that they be taken away. There was also a gig I went to with partner and his female equivalent (in looks) turned up to return a a pair of shoes to him. She looked South American — Brazilian I think — lots of African heritage visually. She gave the shoes to me. They were his shoes but they fitted me. they were like silk slippers, embroidered in different colours. 16P 09 XX.XX NS

Stayed at my Father’s house and dreamt that partner and I rescued a child being kidnapped in a large American car. There was a lot of compassion and protective feeling towards and with his child. A very vivid, atmospheric dream, but the impression faded quickly because of having to get up for work. 16P 13 XX.XX NS

Many dreams, Could only remember the last one. There was a girl/women, myself perhaps, and three men, two outside and one lying in a bed inside a cave, or at least a special/sacred space. He was ageless, the man inside — perhaps a vampire, but the feeling was not menacing, only that the two other men were trying to convince her to stay and to enter this place with the ageless man because she didn’t believe it could exist as they were saying. I saw the old man, but only as a shape beneath blankets — ancient but not a negative feeling — one more of infinite age and wisdom. 16P 14 XX.XX NS

I was in a bedroom with my children. We were in bed. There was another baby — it was a girl. It looked like a doll but it moved, it was trying to reach me, but I kept moving away. I was backing away but didn’t turn my back on it. It was crying and I was making baby crying noises as loud as I could. Then I was picking it up and throwing it to stop it. It was getting nearer but still kept coming. My children wanted to go to the toilet and when we came back there was another doll baby sitting there -it was a boy. 18P 28 XX.XX NS

Dreamt my boss decided to take us all on a trip to Israel via Edinburgh. To do this, she took us to the airport and put us on a plane — her plane. I sit at the front with her — me on the left side, partner is on board also. So we start to tax in the plane but we don’t take off. Instead, we are going to another airport to fly from. We drive through the streets with the plane’s wings tucked in alongside the plane’s body. We arrive somewhere — not sure if we’ve flown or not. But my boss decides not leave the plane — or rather she’s compelled to by something. Everyone on the plane falls into a sort of sleepy stupor except me. I become aware that something very destructive is happening in the plane. Things are decomposing. I wake partner and the others and tell them we have to get out as we are all decomposing from the inside out. Before this, I manage to open the plane’s door to look outside. There was a big runway expanse, then, in the distance a huge, brightly lit city. The image wasn’t still, it was moving slightly. It moved when we were all decomposing. As soon as we woke up and realised, it stopped. As I looked out of the door when we were all awake, I felt inspired and safe but at that moment, a big hairy arm with talon like nails decided to climb in — at the same time there was music of drama and menace in the dream — like a film. We were under siege from «aliens». I found partner and we tried to talk it out. At this point I woke up, but I think I would have had to fly the plane out. There were other bits of dreams, probably connected to this one. One about driving down to Israel and looking at the landscape and the buildings; watching the changes from North Europe to South. We went to a pottery or cake shop and a friend showed us what to do with the foods there. Also there was crying by me because I’d forgotten my camera and I’d waited all my life to come to Israel and I’d forgotten my camera. I didn’t have enough money to buy another one. 16P 15 XX.XX NS

Many dreams. I remember one image of a piece of glass about 1.5 inches long embedded in my right thumb. I have to extract it by pushing it out little by little. I feel pain in my sleep and there is big opening with blood and tissue in my thumb. 16P 19 XX.XX NS

Dream about childminding — think in my dad’s house (about to visit dad, first time in years). 18P 08 XX.XX NS

Dreamt about being in Brighton with partner — the shapes of the hills and streets are all familiar. I lose partner somehow and find myself in «conversation» with a computer screen/TV and keyboard, not verbally. There are people around witnessing this. I am asking/seeking to find partner so I ask questions. Each question is met with rejection/word play/refusal. I become very frustrated and start yelling at the screen about how it’s all part of a conspiracy of mass control, and that I wont be controlled by it. Each attack I make creates a huge red scab forming on the back of my hand, which I peel off and throw away — my rage and indignation getting power. This happens three times altogether. 16P 16 XX.XX NS

I dream that I am on the campus of my old university — Sussex — just outside Brighton, but the buildings are not modern, more gothic in style, with fast running, boulder filled streams/rivers. It is very busy with people, almost like a city, also very European. I am with two of my «best» friends form college, one is pregnant. We are in a huge hall, stone and imposing — like an ancient dining hall with vast fireplaces. Inside, there are televisions and modern conveniences. Someone turns up with new, gadgety, televsion-like things. He/she demonstrated these things, they are like robots, female robots. Their arms are all mechanised and legs and heads. At first, they are extremely robotic, but at some stage this changes dramatically and they all become extremely sophisticated, like Data in Star Trek, next generation Androids. As the dream develops and changes these women androids become central. I can’t remember all the details precisely. They are very beautiful. They are there to teach. I feel very akin to them, safe and unthreatened, although some people feel uncomfortable and threatened by them, I suppose by their superiority. There is a lot of magic in the air. There is a part where I am with my friends and the pregnant one is showing me her belly and we are saying that she has changed so much since we began University in ’86. I ask her to show me herself, which she does, and she changes herself into how she was ten years ago — a sense of real excitement about the baby and I feel the baby. The atmosphere changes and things are not so cordial/harmonious. There is some discussion about staying off campus and other people feel threatened by the androids. 16P 20 XX.XX NS

Looking down into great chasms in the cliffs onto sea and water. Being trapped by the incoming tide approaching from all sides. I am with partner and we want to be together to make love, so we go to a house which is my place and get into bed, when suddenly I see man downstairs 45-55 years old with golden hair. He is attached to some kind of respiratory machine and dancing up and down in a frenzy. He’s extremely animated and high. I’m furious that he’s in my house. We discover that a friend of partner’s said it would be OK as we weren’t around but now we are. He seemed friendly but I felt threatened by him as he continued to breathe on this thing and dance around. (pre-menstrual dream) 16P 21 XX.XX NS

Many dreams about my hair as something that might expose me, give me away, so lots of hair cutting. In one dream, I was in America as an American Indian or with him, being chased in battle. The only way I won’t be recognised is to change my appearance totally, so he cut my hair off. But for me it’s too long, so I cut it shorter. He is really upset, but I feel good. 16P 35 XX.XX NS

Dream I was in a house or shop with another girl. A space ship came over the house and started to sweep or probe the house and us with streams of light or energy. We were terrified and run upstairs to find a safe place to be. Wherever we tried, the light kept penetrating. Eventually, we went into a room and locked the doors and windows and as the light appeared, I tried to smother it with a cloth and clothes. Somehow as I did this, a golden box or shape appeared through the cloth. There was a feeling or understanding that there were no people or creatures on this ship but a higher source of intelligence and energy that was benevolent and glorious. 16P 42 XX.XX NS

A seaside setting with water and no beaches — just sand and sea. 17P 03 XX.XX NS

Dreams of being quite active. 17P 03 XX.XX NS

Having to quit Harvard due to the pressures of being a law professor. 17P 03 XX.XX NS

Visiting an animal sanctuary with weird sideshows. 17P 03 XX.XX NS

With an ex-boyfriend at a gig in France/London. Five men with dark, curly hair and moustaches on motorbikes with extension pieces that elevate then into the sky one by one, where they chatter in mumbo jumbo frolic. I sit with him and we begin to kiss. It goes very deep and I feel someone staring into us. He wants me to come with him to Scotland but I have conditions like no other girlfriends. The dream cuts to an enormous house, totally gothic, dripping with magic and enchantment like Cocteau’s Sleeping Beauty. I follow him through rooms but don’t come out into the other side of the house and walk alongside the walls, eventually coming to a big hall, where a girl and a boy are playing. There is a huge central dining table and a women at the table. The room is steeped in magic. I go over to the table and she greets me and as we begin to talk I see her face shift from one being to another like she is «cloaking» or «possessing». The women «underneath» has large, dark eyes, dark hair, tied in a pony tail, serene, simply beautiful. The woman over her has shining blue eyes like sapphires, with very pale skin and red hair. She is extremely beautiful. We begin to talk, but she senses that I have «seen», After some time, her husband comes into the room and with him a feeling of enormous power — not all light, some darkness also. He sits down with us and they both ask lots of questions. They are not well spoken, more local. Their name is Chambers. Their servants are well spoken. The house is intact but there are places where the rain gets in, although it doesn’t feel as if there are actual holes in the roof. Those parts of the house feel «clean» — there is light and energy where the water is. They begin to invite me into their lives and beingness. I still sense a lot of magic around him particularly — a trickster — and he shows me what they both sleep in — tiny coffin like basket things — about a metre long. Somehow I find myself lying down as he starts to change me into something like them. He uses a visualisation technique of my bones knitting together to become smaller. I realise what’s happening and freak out and reject them both. As this happens, the energy in the house changes dramatically. She runs back down to the outhouses where we were, then comes running back with boiling hot pans of water which she throws down in front of me almost as if she’s sterilising the way back out of the house. I run back over this pathway she’s opened for me to the outhouses, but I don’t enter. Somehow the husband and wife are in these buildings and I have heard her screaming that «they’ve poked his eyes out» and him saying that they would have to kill him. At this point, I become terrified and determined to get away from the house unseen and unfollowed, so I sidle round the walls of the house and throw off the clothes they had put me in and run like crazy across the fields. As I run, I see a tradesman coming up to the entrance, but he doesn’t see me. the field I run into is extraordinarily beautiful. As I run, I fell liberated and peaceful. Although I had been terrified, I was somehow confident they won’t follow me. 16P 31 XX.XX NS

I am in a cinema which is some kind of club. I don’t know why I’m there but I’m talking to my hairdresser. Her boyfriend comes along and takes me off in his very nice car and beats me. I didn’t feel frightened. Then I end up in a brothel about to have a massage, but the woman turns out to be one of my students, so I cover my face and put on a foreign accent before running off. 17P 05 XX.XX NS

It all seemed to take place in my parents’ kitchen. We were all there although I didn’t see my brothers. I have the feeling I went through my mum’s death twice. The second time we were talking about decorating the kitchen. There was a man talking to my mum in the sitting room, he had long black hair. I was watching — he touched her foot and said «but you’re all cold». I said she’s dead and he cried and I hugged him. We were back in the kitchen then — someone said «we’ll have to have central heating, let’s get the money.» Someone carried a coal bucket and someone else carried my mum into the kitchen. She was very floppy but her face was very clear. One eye looked straight at me, it was sort of pulled down. I kept shouting «Be careful with her», then I was on my hands and knees sweeping the floor worrying about who we should call now that the second mum had died. Woke up feeling very sad, unable to cry, very alone. World felt really quiet and silent. Then frightened to go back to sleep. I always have vivid dreams about family and they’re always in the kitchen. Before taking remedy — remedy not in house. 18P 01 05.15 NS

I was at some sort of party in a large hall. I was in a thick dressing gown that didn’t move easily. I was in a very dark corner on a high stool. I had been given the task of dividing up an enormous chocolate gateau. I was expecting to cut it up into seven but another child turned up and eight seemed like an impossible number. The child who had just arrived went to grab it and I shouted at him. It became increasingly difficult to cut straight and get help from someone to pass the bowls around. I ran off screaming and saying I couldn’t do it. In the other room they were showing films on high screens and I locked myself in the loo. Felt exhausted when I woke — cross with something. 18P 22 XX.XX NS

Ex-husband came to visit me — we were in bed with our clothes on. We were hugging. He was wearing a soft woolly sweater. I had pain in my stomach and was feeling very sad — I had the feeling he wanted to come back. He said he would come back if it was not for his job and his position. Then in father’s house wanting to go to the loo. I was in the bathroom — it was very clear — full of wet towels and clothes. The door wouldn’t close. It kept swinging back open and I was aware of my father outside. Finally I got it to stay shut long enough to have a wee but I felt very uncomfortable. I was in a wooden building. I was wearing a 19th century dress. I was aware of being watched and looked for a spyhole. When I found it I pushed a stick through the hole and then I was on the other side and a boy was limping around shouting with a stick through his knee: I was aware it should have been through his eye. I woke feeling very sad and disturbed by this dream. A feeling of disquiet — I didn’t want to write it down. 18P 22 XX.XX NS

Sad dream about going to Spain with a friend packing a huge suitcase making a shopping list. There was nobody to help me or care about me. There was a farewell party given by a woman I used to know. We sat at huge long tables and I didn’t know anyone. Everyone was eating and having a good time but I couldn’t get anything to eat. No-one helped me. I ran off in the end, very sad. Then we were catching a plane and I had left my bag on the table and my ticket was in it. Someone was trying to make me a credit card but I was saying «no, no» and crying. In proving it felt to me like I was dreaming all the time, although it didn’t start till later on. The dream stood out as being really important. 18P 32 XX.XX NS

Physical Symptoms

Unstable, dizzy feeling. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Inner Head

Headache in right temple. 04P 03 XX.XX NS

Excruciating, sharp pain centre head, dusk. Intense, 30 seconds. 07P 03 21.00 NS

Woke 2-3 a.m. same intense central headache. 07P 04 02.00 NS

Headache above right eye. Throbbing pain. Sometimes across the forehead, but mostly over right eye. I rarely get headaches. If I do, it’s usually related to PMT. 15.30 — 17.30. Worse again from 18.00 09P 02 15.30 NS

Heavy headache. 12P 00 XX.XX OS

Pounding headache starting at 3 p.m.. in back of neck. 12P 00 15.00 NS

Head pain, better for fresh air. 13P 01 XX.XX NS

Throbbing pain in the head better in the open air. 14P 05 XX.XX NS

Headache from lack of sleep. 14P 14 XX.XX NS

Mild pain both sides of head. The position makes me think of devils’ horns. 15P 01 12.30 NS

Sharp pain left side of head above temple. 15P 01 12.05 NS

Heavy feeling as if my head is in a permanent frown — eyes very intense but glazed. 16P 00 XX.XX NS

Pain above right eye. Sharp. 17P 01 XX.XX NS

Fullness. Thick head. 17P 02 XX.XX NS

Oppressive on right side of the head as though about to be a thunderstorm. 17P 02 XX.XX NS

Light-headedness, straight after taking remedy. 18P 01 +00.00 NS

Pain right side of the head. Worse at 9.00 am. 18P 02 09.00 NS

Pain over left eye in the afternoon. 18P 04 XX.XX NS

Head pain on very hot day. 18P 07 XX.XX NS

Headache all day (after trip to father). 18P 13 XX.XX NS

Pain over left eye and left side neck, worse for noise, better after walk. 18P 14 XX.XX NS

Headache after drinking too much. 18P 16 XX.XX NS

Dull pain over head. 18P 21 XX.XX NS

Outer Head

Head hot and sweaty. 13P 01 XX.XX NS

Pain around hairline. 17P 03 XX.XX NS

Hair limp. 18P 04 XX.XX NS

Hair lank during menses. 18P 09 XX.XX NS

Hair is wiry and lank. 18P 12 XX.XX NS

Hair bouncy — good. 18P 26 XX.XX NS

Sight & Eyes

Pressure pain behind eyes which were present before proving disappeared. 07P 02 XX.XX CS

Left eye yellow discharge, inflamed upper left lid. 07P 03 XX.XX OS

Eye puffiness (and nasal discharge) improved. 07P 08 XX.XX AS

Eyes sore and tired, Worse as the evening goes on. Usual symptom when I’m very tired. Feels as if they are burning slightly, worse on the right. 09P 11 XX.XX OS
Swollen, red, puffy bags under eyes. 14P 02 XX.XX NS
Obsessed by the colour red, looking for red things and noticing other colours only for not being red. Relief at finding something red to look at. Everything seems wishy washy and only red things are fully there (perhaps v. strong and bright blues and greens OK but only red really gives relief). 15P 01 14.00 NS
Seeing things in isolation but very clearly, eye caught by red things, folders, signs, etc.. 15P 01 12.15 NS
The view out of the office window is much less disturbing now that the sun is lower and the shadows give definition. When the sun was high and there were no shadows, it made me distinctly uneasy. (He later described the uneasiness as a sensation as if everything were dissolving). I just had to glance away (while writing) to find something red. Found a pencil but it was a bit purple. Pritt roller, bright scarlet did the trick. 15P 01 16.00 NS
Felt I could see more clearly without glasses when I got up. I experimented with this on the way to work. I could not see more clearly, but could perceive better, which made me feel better. 15P 02 08.30 NS
Couldn’t keep eyes open. 17P 01 XX.XX NS
Eyes tired. 17P 02 XX.XX NS
Eyes are sore, hot and watery. 18P 27 XX.XX NS
Left eye sticky and sore. 18P 28 XX.XX NS

Hearing & Ears

Feeling of blockage in right ear from site of tooth infection. 01P 04 XX.XX OS

Fuzzy ringing noise. 13P 01 XX.XX NS

Left ear feels sensitive. 18P 14 XX.XX NS

Smell & Nose

Lot of sneezing 12 p.m. — 12 a.m. 03P 01 12.00 NS

Sneezing p.m.. 03P 04 XX.XX NS

Sneezed a lot. 03P 08 XX.XX NS

Catarrh improved during proving. 07P 00 XX.XX CS

On arriving home, his wife remarked on the strong smell of fish in the house, which would normally have bothered him, but he couldn’t smell it. 15P 01 16.00 NS

Smell noticeably sensitive for last two days. Could catch a perfume from a long way away, especially outside. 15P 08 XX.XX NS

Nose blocked. 18P 27 XX.XX NS


Clicked left jaw — pain worse movement. 03P 08 XX.XX NS

Eruption, cheeks and chin before menses improved during proving. 07P 00 XX.XX CS

Eruption, hairline before menses improved during proving. 07P 00 XX.XX CS

Small spots above lip, left side. 09P 03 XX.XX NS

More sore inflamed spots coming up above the mouth, worse on the left side. 09P 05 XX.XX NS

Spots on forehead and temples, pre-menses & during. 13P 16 XX.XX NS

Fuzzy/numb feeling on left side of face. 18P 01 XX.XX NS

Face flushed. 18P 02 XX.XX NS

Teeth & Gums

Sore left gum. 03P 09 XX.XX NS

Teeth sensitive to brushing. 13P 02 XX.XX NS

Bleeding gums on brushing, more than usual. 13P 17 XX.XX NS

Inner Mouth

A nasty mouth ulcer between gum and lip right front. 15P 07 XX.XX OS

Ulcer still sore, worse at night. Metallic-sweet taste in mouth. 15P 10 XX.XX NS

Mouth ulcer. Very sore. (Had before proving started.) 17P 02 XX.XX RS

Mouth ulcers. 18P 23 XX.XX NS


Tickle in throat. 03P 02 20.30 NS

Splinter sensation, central to right, evening. 07P 02 XX.XX NS

Throat gradually gets sore during the day. Very sore at night, dry, burning and irritated. 09P 22 XX.XX NS

Swelling of the tonsils on the left side. 10P 02 XX.XX NS

Throat and lips dry. 15P 01 14.00 NS

Throat very dry and thirsty (hot day). 15P 01 16.00 NS

Throat sore and dry, but not thirsty, lots of saliva in mouth. 18P 01 XX.XX NS

Throat hurts on left side. 18P 14 XX.XX NS

Sore throat as if I’d been shouting, and a tickle. 18P 22 XX.XX NS

Appetite, Thirst & Desires

Loss of appetite. 01P 02 XX.XX NS

Desire to drink something scalding hot. 04P 03 XX.XX NS

Feel hungry but don’t want to eat. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

No appetite. 04P 12 XX.XX NS

Poor appetite. 04P 14 XX.XX NS

Craving for sweet food. 09P 07 XX.XX NS

Distaste for tobacco. 10P 04 XX.XX NS

Increased thirst for drinks, other than hot teas, coffee or coffee substitutes, i.e. a preference for cold juice and water. 10P 04 XX.XX NS

Ate red jelly and ice cream. The red looked really good against the white. 15P 01 22.00 NS

Ate some watermelon, but no appetite for other food. Food seems too dry. 15P 01 16.00 NS

No appetite for lunch. 15P 01 14.00 NS

At lunchtime, ate ice cream and chocolate. 15P 02 13.00 NS

Couldn’t face dry bread for lunch or toast for breakfast. Ate watermelon, strawberry yoghourt and fruit. 15P 02 08.00 NS

Thirsty in the evening. 15P 03 XX.XX NS

Not much appetite for breakfast or lunch. 15P 05 XX.XX NS

Thirst in the evening with no appetite. Fancied eggs, scrambled. 15P 05 XX.XX NS

Wanted scrambled eggs again. 15P 08 XX.XX NS

Only fruit for breakfast. 15P 12 XX.XX NS

Made a nice (very red) fruit salad. 15P 13 XX.XX NS

Didn’t want to eat much. 16P 01 XX.XX NS

Desire for veggie sausage sandwich and cheese. 16P 02 XX.XX NS

My belly feels weird, like I’m not digesting. I want cheese and sausage sandwiches with mustard, fried onions and pickle. I feel uncomfortable for a long time after eating them. 16P 08 XX.XX NS

Appetite. Could have eaten all day. Wanted greasy, rubbishy food. 17P 01 XX.XX NS

Desired chocolate more before this period than usual. All I had in my shopping basket was STs and chocolate. 18P 10 XX.XX NS

Desired chocolate and sweets as when pre-menstrual. 18P 17 XX.XX NS

Desired chocolate. Eating like no tomorrow. Buying big bars. 18P 21 XX.XX NS

Hiccough, Belching, Nausea & Vomiting

Nausea — stomach churning worse eating. Bloated / rumbling. 03P 06 XX.XX NS

Stomach still churning. Nausea. No appetite. 03P 07 XX.XX NS

Slight nausea in evening, worse for eating. 09P 18 XX.XX NS

Nausea upon waking. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Trapped flatus painful during ovulation. 13P 30 XX.XX NS

Burping all evening. Once brought up liquid from stomach, with no taste or burning sensation. 15P 01 22.00 NS

Burping, not painful or excessive. 15P 01 12.30 NS

Ate a banana at 11am and it felt like lead in my stomach and immediately caused wind. An apple was more digestible, but eating or drinking anything immediately causes wind. 15P 02 11.00 NS

Started burping on leaving the house. Wife says I burp just like my mother. 15P 02 08.30 NS

No gas in the morning, but it appeared with some force after a salami sandwich. 15P 03 13.00 NS

Gas on and off all day, especially after eating. 15P 04 XX.XX NS

Scrobiculum & Stomach

Heartburn and diarrhoea. 01P 10 XX.XX NS

Developed stomach ache as if intestines are being twisted. Worse after eating. 05P 04 22.30 NS

Pain in stomach continued throughout the night. Better lying still, worse standing, walking around and using stomach muscles. Pain moved to right side of lower stomach in the morning and became tender to touch. Pain disappeared around 3 P.M 05P 05 XX.XX NS

Nausea, as if I’ve over-dosed on caffeine. Better for drinking herb tea. Nausea and queasy. I haven’t had any caffeine for weeks, yet it’s similar to an over-dose of it. A bit speedy. 09P 02 XX.XX NS

Nervous energy in the stomach. 09P 02 XX.XX NS

Painful cramps and a little wind. Sharp continuous pain in the stomach. Unusual for me to get stomach cramps. 09P 02 18.00 NS

My stomach is still bloated. I’ve had powerful dreams and no time to digest them. 16P 09 XX.XX NS

My stomach is very uneasy. I don’t feel that I’m processing things very well.

16P 10 XX.XX NS


Warm pain left side, deep, near left kidney. 07P 02 XX.XX NS

Itchiness, abdomen, 3″ band, across pelvic area. Thought of shingles. 07P 07 XX.XX NS

Mid afternoon severe stabbing pain/ache, central abdomen below navel, very brief, associated this with early ovulation. 07P 09 XX.XX NS

Heat, below umbilicus, across abdomen, that feels quite pleasant. She feels energetic, rather than physical, lasted for an hour. 09P 01 20.30 NS

Sharp pain, especially right side, worse after eating. Pain immediately after eating. 09P 02 XX.XX NS

Bloating all over. 10P 06 XX.XX NS

Abdomen bloated and distended, worse after eating. 10P 07 XX.XX NS

Stomach cramping in the evening. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Rectum & Stool

Loose stools. 01P 02 XX.XX NS

Bleeding piles. 03P 00 XX.XX OS

Constipation, feeling of fullness, wind. The remedy also eventually improved the constipation and the prover had 2 daily bowel movements for several days which is unusual. 12P 00 XX.XX CS

Constipation when camping. 13P 06 XX.XX NS

Irritable bowel which she usually has during visit from mother, didn’t have and less irritated by her. 13P 32 XX.XX NS

Stools mushy and softish. 14P 02 XX.XX NS

Stools with odour of cooked liver. 14P 02 XX.XX NS

Stools lighter in colour, yellowish. 14P 03 XX.XX NS

Explosive bowel movement. Loose stool. 17P 03 XX.XX NS

Less traffic and wind than usual. 17P 04 XX.XX NS

Male Sexual Organs

Found myself playing with my dick in the bath and while sitting around but in a friendly rather than sexual or masturbatory way. 15P 01 23.00 NS

No erections but wanted to play with soft cock in the morning, also with partner but she got excited, which wasn’t the idea. 15P 02 XX.XX NS

Sexually, I have been much more aware and have touched myself more than usual, but no erection since taking the remedy. This has not caused any anxiety, if anything, the opposite. It has been rather pleasant. 15P 03 XX.XX NS

Only one erection since the remedy — no sex. 15P 09 XX.XX NS

Sex drive still noticeably reduced. 15P 27 XX.XX NS

Female Sexual Organs

Period, not having menstruated since November ’95. 02P 07 XX.XX NS

Wild period type pain though finished menstruating some months previously. 03P 16 XX.XX NS

Unusual period. 03P 44 XX.XX NS

Another unusual period. 03P 72 XX.XX NS

Cycle changed to 21 days from 28. Occurred for 2 months. 07P 00 XX.XX NS

Flow shortened from 5 to 3 days. Occurred for 2 months. 07P 00 XX.XX NS

Energy good (usually has dip on 1st 2 days of menses). 07P 04 XX.XX NS

Flooding day 2 of menses twice. 4 p.m.. and 10.30 p.m.. very unusual. 07P 04 16.00 NS

Menses stopped abruptly after 3 days, unusual. 07P 06 XX.XX NS

Severe, stabbing pain uterus, very brief, day 6 of cycle, associated this with early ovulation. 07P 09 XX.XX NS

Eruption, septic pimples both sides top of vulva, itchy at ovulation time. 07P 15 XX.XX NS

Menses started day 21 of cycle. 07P 24 XX.XX NS

Slight light brown vaginal discharge during the day. 09P 04 XX.XX NS

Vagina feels irritated. 09P 05 XX.XX NS

Vagina very itchy in the evening. Perhaps some thrush, strong yeast smell. Slight yellow discharge. 09P 05 XX.XX NS

Very slight yellow, vaginal discharge. No itching. 09P 06 XX.XX NS

Sharp pain in ovaries, both sides, worse in the morning, on waking. Feels like intense ovulation pain, but 2 days early. 09P 07 XX.XX NS

Continuous sharp pain in ovaries, both sides, but worse on the right. 09P 09 16.30 NS

Heavy bleeding, many clots. 09P 25 XX.XX NS

Menses is two days late. Continuous pain for two days. Dull ache in the belly. Pulling down pain in lower back. Better for rest, lying down with knees up. Hot water bottle under lower back helps. Unusual for the pain to last for so long. I usually feel much better after the first few hours of bleeding. Have to cancel work, very unusual! Once I accepted my condition and surrendered to being rather than doing, I felt very peaceful and still. Very content to be silent for two days and alone. Felt as if I was deeply cleaning my belly and chest. Grateful for an excuse for rest! 09P 25 XX.XX NS

Increase in libido. 10P 05 XX.XX NS

Breasts sensitive and swollen, big, rounder than usual. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Felt as if pregnant. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Sharp, shooting pain in uterus. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

The remedy proved curative for the prover’s pre-menstrual tension, and particularly for the usual headache experienced at that time which did not appear prior to the next menses. 12P 00 XX.XX CS

Tenderness area of right ovary. Could be beginning to ovulate which would be a week early. 13P 02 09.30 NS

Tenderness right ovary again. 13P 03 08.30 NS

Ovulating. I need to be by myself. I need to be really warm. Pain better lying down, better stillness, better warmth on the spot, better curling up right side. Worse than I’ve experienced for eight-ten months. Accompanying lower back ache, and painful flatus. 13P 04 22.30 NS

Tenderness returned, becoming increasingly painful. Definitely ovulating. 13P 04 16.30 NS

Organs, Breasts tender. 13P 14 XX.XX NS

Libido low which surprises me as I feel so good in all other aspects. 13P 15 XX.XX NS

Left ovary twinges. 13P 26 XX.XX NS

Ovulation left side. (26 days since last ovulation) Nothing like last month. Worst around noon — 1.00 pm. With uncomfortable flatus low in bowel, felt trapped. OK by evening. 13P 30 12.00 NS

My period was more painful than usual for the first 5 hours, and shorter. 16P 00 XX.XX NS

Period was delayed by a few days until the full moon. This is unusual. My period hasn’t been regular since my grandma died a few years ago from ovarian cancer. She was like a mother to me. She looked after me more than my mother and kept the family together. My mother was too young to have a baby. 16P 00 XX.XX NS

Menses started a week early. Cramping pain worse than usual. Menses heavier than usual. With back pain, worse lying down. With legs stiff and achey right down to the feet, even my heels hurt and can’t keep legs still — rather like the ache when I’ve had flu. 18P 10 XX.XX NS

Cramping pain, woke up early. Better walking around than lying in bed. Bleeding heavy. 18P 11 XX.XX NS

Sharp stabbing pain in the right side on waking.. Like ovulation but period started 8 days ago. Feel very period-like — aware of my body, feel very bloated. Very touchy. 18P 18 XX.XX NS

Voice & Larynx, Trachea & Bronchia

Voice quieter than usual. 13P 00 XX.XX NS

Shouted and it came out louder than usual. 14P 01 XX.XX NS

Voice seemed quieter than usual. 14P 01 XX.XX NS

Croaky voice after one day. 16P 02 XX.XX NS


Cough. 03P 02 22.00 NS

Cough worse in the evening. 03P 15 XX.XX NS

Inner Chest & Lungs

Heat in chest. 09P 01 20.00 NS

Pressure and heaviness, and slight burning in chest. 09P 01 17.00 NS

Slight pain and pressure in the centre of her chest, better for crying. 09P 01 XX.XX NS

Breathing shallow. 09P 02 XX.XX NS

Pain sometimes behind sternum. 09P 02 XX.XX NS

Pain, difficulty breathing. Painful breathing. Chest feels tight and congested, better for herbal expectorant. Cough dry and very painful. 09P 23 XX.XX NS

Outer Chest

Eruption before menses improved during proving. 07P 00 XX.XX CS

Sides of both breasts are very sore, as if bruised, worse for touch. Slightly unusual that the pain is so specifically located at the sides. Used to get pain in the breasts before I started taking PM vitamins. Stopped after 2 months on the vitamins. 09P 18 XX.XX OS

Spots pre-menses and during menses. 13P 18 XX.XX NS

Neck & Back

Left back hurting on waking worse after rising. 03P 08 XX.XX NS

Pain in lower back. 03P 09 XX.XX OS

Back ache left-hand side. 03P 12 XX.XX NS

Tingling feeling in spine. Can bring on sensation at will. Quite pleasant like hackles on the neck rising when right music Is played. 04P 09 XX.XX NS

Small boil left side of neck — quite sore and inflamed. 09P 03 XX.XX OS

Back better during the day. Pain again in the evening, better for stretching. 09P 05 XX.XX NS

Very painful back in late afternoon, worse 16.30 on, better walking, worse sitting. 09P 09 16.30 NS

Frozen back — couldn’t move. Began with spasm between scapulae. The frozen back happened on the day before taking the remedy and eased off 2 days after the proving started. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Weakness in lower back. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Severe lower back ache, better for long hot bath. 13P 01 XX.XX NS

Lower back pain accompanying ovulation. 13P 04 XX.XX NS

Pain in neck and shoulders. 13P 17 XX.XX NS

Lower back pain during menses. 13P 19 XX.XX NS

Back pain mid afternoon; probably from standing all day. 13P 24 XX.XX NS

Aching in lung/back area, maybe from lifting. 16P 00 XX.XX NS

Back pain. Wanted to lie down as it ameliorated. I think it is from not drinking enough water. 17P 08 XX.XX NS

Back pain worse lying down during menses. 18P 10 XX.XX NS

Lower back stiff. 18P 20 XX.XX NS

Upper Limbs

My wedding ring (always very tight) caused nasty blisters as if it was going bad, so I had to cut it off. 15P 31 XX.XX NS

Left hand dry, skin red and mottled. 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Left arm prickly and itchy. 18P 04 XX.XX NS

Lower Limbs

Legs creaking. 03P 04 XX.XX OS

Hot painful veins in left leg. 03P 12 XX.XX OS

Feet itchy, 8-930 pm. 05P 02 20.00 NS

Feet itchy, 9.30-10pm. 05P 03 21.30 NS

Feet itchy, 7-8 pm. 05P 04 19.00 NS

Small deep cut on right big toe re-opens. Better for closing it with a bandage. Very strange! I thought this had been healed from the growth and covering of new skin, but it opened again today and has been very sore. Got the cut a year ago. 09P 03 XX.XX NS

Cut on big toe still open — even with bandage. 09P 05 XX.XX NS

Small toe on the right side is sore and swollen all day, worse for air. Perhaps a PM symptom, but never had it before. 09P 18 XX.XX NS

Left groin tender for 2 days. 13P 24 XX.XX NS

Bones feel as if need to crack. 18P 02 XX.XX NS

Heat in right ankle, then cold. 18P 02 XX.XX NS

Legs restless. 18P 02 XX.XX NS

Pain in right ankle. On walking. 18P 02 XX.XX NS

Left ankle feels sprained. 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Legs fidgety with period pains. 18P 10 XX.XX NS

Feet twitchy. 18P 11 XX.XX NS

Pains like contractions in tops of legs which is where I felt all my labour pains. (During menses.) 18P 11 XX.XX NS

Right knee stiff and painful. 18P 23 XX.XX NS

Limbs in General

My legs felt tired, also my arms. 16P 01 XX.XX NS

Rest, Position & Motion

Didn’t feel stiff after 8 hours driving — unusual. 02P 04 XX.XX NS

Again not stiff after long drive. 02P 07 XX.XX NS


Hot, tired, weary, lethargic, heavy-headed. 01P 04 XX.XX NS

Uncomfortable, restless, troubled sleep, uncomfortable feeling in right ear. 01P 05 XX.XX OS

Unable to sleep even though tired. Woke at 4.00 am. 01P 09 04.00 NS

Sleeplessness. Unable to lie on left side. Can feel the pump of my heart. 04P 01 XX.XX NS

Waking 4.00 am — restless sleep after that. 04P 09 04.00 NS

Wake 4.00 am — then restless sleep. 04P 10 04.00 NS

Poor night’s sleep — woke 4.00 am — disturbed by dreams he’s unable to grasp. 04P 12 04.00 NS

Wake at 4.00 am — unable to sleep again. Spend the hours in a half doze, imaginary state which is unpleasant. 04P 13 04.00 NS

Slept badly; disturbing but unremembered dreams. 04P 14 XX.XX NS

Slept badly. 04P 16 XX.XX NS

Tired, worse from 1300 — 14.30, and from 1800 on. 09P 11 13.00 NS

Hot and sticky at night. 12P 00 XX.XX NS

Evening, energy dropping and dropping. 13P 01 XX.XX NS

Exhaustion. Can hardly put one foot in front of other, so off to bed. 13P 01 XX.XX NS

Slept like a log, as soon as head hit pillow. 13P 02 XX.XX NS

Another very deep sleep. 13P 03 XX.XX NS

Very deep sleep again. 13P 04 XX.XX NS

Could have slept for hours this morning. Two cups of tea in bed brought me into land of living. 13P 09 XX.XX NS

Exhausted 9.30 pm — going to bed early. 13P 09 21.30 NS

By lunchtime could have happily fallen into bed for long sleep. 13P 15 13.00 NS

First time for weeks woken before alarm. Mother-in-law arriving today — could be a bit of a strain. 13P 18 XX.XX NS

Took ages to get to sleep. 13P 18 XX.XX NS

Restless sleep. Surfacing into wakefulness throughout night. Alarm rang in middle of a dream. 13P 22 XX.XX NS

Quality of sleep has declined over the past week. More on the surface of sleep; less deep. 13P 24 XX.XX NS

Still fairly restless nights. 13P 26 XX.XX NS

An excellent night’s sleep — feel refreshed. 14P 02 XX.XX NS

Awoke refreshed. I am sleeping pretty well. 14P 09 XX.XX NS

Absolutely zonked/wasted. Had a lie down but didn’t go. Wanted to curl up in bed but couldn’t. 17P 01 +03.00 NS

Ready for bed by 8.00 pm. Very tired but didn’t fall asleep immediately. 17P 01 20.00 NS

Could have crawled into bed for most of the afternoon. 17P 02 XX.XX NS

Couldn’t sleep straightaway in spite of feeling drained. 17P 02 XX.XX NS

Had half hour sleep. 17P 02 16.00 NS

Had to drive to Cornwall — could do with being in bed. 17P 02 XX.XX NS

Woke late. Feel disoriented and unrefreshed. 17P 02 XX.XX NS

Fifteen minute doze. 17P 03 21.00 NS

Lay on sofa and dozed off. As I was sleeping thought this is to reserve battery power. It felt good rather than desperate for it. First time for a while. 17P 03 13.00 NS

Still feeling as if I could go to bed and rest or sleep. 17P 03 XX.XX NS

Fell asleep in chair in late afternoon. 17P 06 16.00 NS

Sleep refreshed. Actually jumped out of bed and ready to go. 17P 08 XX.XX NS

Sleepy, yawning a lot. 18P 01 XX.XX NS

Sleep very heavy. Went to bed in afternoon. Hard to wake up. 18P 02 XX.XX NS

Sleep very heavy. In the afternoon went to lie down and fell into deep sleep for two hours. Later very tired. 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Heavy sleep. Hard to wake up. Slept 5 — 6.30 pm. 18P 04 XX.XX NS

Sleep not so heavy and feel better because of it. Easier to wake. 18P 05 XX.XX NS

Very sleepy in the evening. Fell asleep on sofa at 9.30 pm. 18P 05 21.30 NS

Very tired in the afternoon. 18P 12 XX.XX NS

Woke at 5.00 am from dream. 18P 22 05.00 NS

Temperature & Weather

Yearning for fresh air. Want to take in great lungfuls of oxygen. 04P 05 XX.XX NS

Heat and flushes, as if in a humid climate — a sense of suffocation (10-10.30 am, and 15.30 — 17.30). I’m working with a group of people — no one feels hot. It’s a warm day, but the room we are in is cool, however, I feel as if I’m in Java. They say I look flushed and sweaty. Better when I’m outside — feel as if I might pass out — feel very suffocated. Face feels very clammy. 09P 02 10.00 NS

Warm feeling all over with perspiration forehead. 14P 01 XX.XX NS

Head and face flushed (it was a hot day). 15P 01 14.00 OS

Felt cold all night. 16P 01 XX.XX NS

Stayed in the room where the windows wouldn’t open and sweated all night. 16P 09 XX.XX NS


Pre-flu feverishness immediately prior to proving, improved as soon as proving commenced. 07P 00 XX.XX CS


Uncomfortable, empty feeling. 04P 06 XX.XX NS

My body feels heavy, tired but lazy. 16P 01 +08.00 NS

Shaky and heavy after afternoon sleep. 18P 03 XX.XX NS

Shaky feeling. At 11.45 feel as if suddenly woken up, shaky feeling gone. 18P 03 11.45 NS

Limp and blobby and didn’t want to go out. 18P 04 XX.XX NS

Shaky on waking. 18P 04 XX.XX NS

Bloated — pre-menstrual feeling. Felt fat. 18P 06 XX.XX NS

Generally feel very bloated. (pre menstrual) 18P 08 XX.XX NS

Aching like flu during menses. 18P 10 XX.XX NS

Feel lank and tired. 18P 29 XX.XX NS


Red mark below right shoulder blade. 14P 10 XX.XX NS

Mark on shoulder is becoming a boil — very red and tender. Rapidly disappearing after three days. 14P 12 XX.XX NS

An itchy nettle-like rash on the inside of the right forearm. It remained red and itchy. After three days it spread to outer right leg just below the knee, worse after a hot bath. 15P 05 XX.XX NS

I’ve turned into a volcano — dotty spotty. Pimples on right side of face, between ear and chin. 16P 01 XX.XX NS

Prickly. Itchy, creeping feeling after gardening. 18P 02 XX.XX NS


MIND — ABSENTMINDED — spoken to; when 1
MIND — ACHIEVE things, desire to 1
MIND — AFFECTATION — words; in 1
MIND — AIR; mental symptoms amel. in open 1
MIND — AMBITION — loss of 1
MIND — ANGER — cursing, with 1
MIND — ANGER — trifles; at 1
MIND — ANSWERING — difficult 1
MIND — ANXIETY — alternating with — contentment 1
MIND — ANXIETY — children — about his 1
MIND — ANXIETY — company; when in 1
MIND — ANXIETY — conscience; anxiety of 1
MIND — ANXIETY — trifles, about 1
MIND — ANXIETY — waking, on 1
MIND — BED — remain in bed; desires to 1
MIND — COLORS — red — desire for 1
MIND — COLORS — yellow — desire for 1
MIND — COMPANY — aversion to 2
MIND — COMPANY — aversion to — desire for solitude 1
MIND — COMPANY — desire for — amel. in company 1
MIND — CONCENTRATION — difficult 3
MIND — CONCENTRATION — difficult — attention, cannot fix 1
MIND — CONCENTRATION — difficult — talking, while 1
MIND — CONFIDENCE — want of self-confidence 1
MIND — CONFUSION of mind — dream, as if in a 1
MIND — CONTENT — himself, with 3
MIND — CONTENT — others, with 1
MIND — CRUELTY, inhumanity 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — body — parts — absent; parts of body are 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — clear, everything is too 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — disappearing, dissolving 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — division between himself and others 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — enlarged — body is — parts of body 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — enlarged — hands are 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — feminine, is soft, round and, 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — forsaken; is 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — hand — separated from body, is 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — herself; she were not 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — influence; one is under a powerful 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — neglected — duty; he has neglected his 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — objects; about — colored; brilliantly — red 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — persecuted — he is persecuted 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — seeing — cannot see; he 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — separated — body — mind are separated; body and 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — separated — world, from the — he is separated 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — strange — familiar things seem strange 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — talking — hears talking; he — head, inside his 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — thoughts — vanish — had vanished; thoughts 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — unfortunate, he is 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — unreal — everything seems unreal 1
MIND — DELUSIONS — watched, she is being 1
MIND — DESIRES — full of desires — inexpressible, full of 1
MIND — DISCONTENTED — himself, with 1
MIND — DREAM; as if in a 1
MIND — ECSTASY — amorous 1
MIND — EGOTISM, self-esteem 1
MIND — ENNUI, tedium 1
MIND — ESTRANGED — family; from his 1
MIND — ESTRANGED — society, from 1
MIND — FANCIES — absorbed in 1
MIND — FEAR — men; of 1
MIND — FEAR — people; of 1
MIND — FEAR — poverty, of 1
MIND — FORGETFUL — ideas, for last 1
MIND — GRIEF — losing objects; after 1
MIND — IDEAS — abundant, clearness of mind 1
MIND — INDIFFERENCE, apathy — appearance; to his personal 1
MIND — INDIFFERENCE, apathy — loved ones, to 1
MIND — INDIFFERENCE, apathy — morning 1
MIND — INDUSTRIOUS, mania for work 1
MIND — IRRESOLUTION, indecision 1
MIND — IRRESOLUTION, indecision — marry, to 1
MIND — IRRESOLUTION, indecision — projects, in 1
MIND — IRRITABILITY — air, in open 1
MIND — IRRITABILITY — alone — when 1
MIND — IRRITABILITY — alternating with — mirth 1
MIND — IRRITABILITY — children, towards 1
MIND — IRRITABILITY — trifles, from 1
MIND — LAZINESS — evening 1
MIND — LAZINESS — morning — waking, on 1
MIND — LAZINESS — postponing the work 1
MIND — LONGING — knows not what for 1
MIND — MEMORY — weakness of memory 1
MIND — MEMORY — weakness of memory — done; for what he just has 1
MIND — MEMORY — weakness of memory — everyday things, for 1
MIND — MENTAL EXERTION — desire for 1
MIND — MISTAKES; making — speaking, in — spelling, in, 1
MIND — PHILOSOPHY — ability for 1
MIND — PHILOSOPHY — ability for — reveries; great inclination to philosophical 1
MIND — PITIES herself 1
MIND — PLAYING — desire to play 1
MIND — POSTPONING everything to next day 1
MIND — QUIET; wants to be 1
MIND — RESTLESSNESS — air; in open — amel. 1
MIND — RESTLESSNESS — driving about 1
MIND — SADNESS — alone — when 1
MIND — SADNESS — heaviness — body; with heaviness of 1
MIND — SADNESS — house, in 1
MIND — SADNESS — menses — before 1
MIND — SADNESS — night 1
MIND — SENSITIVE — colors, to 1
MIND — SENSITIVE — noise, to 1
MIND — SENSITIVE — surroundings 1
MIND — SENTIMENTAL — ecstacy with 1
MIND — SITTING — inclination to sit — wrapped in deep, sad thoughts and notices nothing; as if 1
MIND — SPEECH — loud 1
MIND — SPOKEN TO; being — aversion 1
MIND — SPOKEN TO; being — aversion — alone; wants to be let 1
MIND — STARING, thoughtless 1
MIND — THOUGHTS — disconnected 1
MIND — THOUGHTS — rush, flow of 1
MIND — THOUGHTS — vanishing of 1
MIND — THOUGHTS — vanishing of — work, at 1
MIND — TIME — slowly, appears longer; passes too 3
MIND — TRANQUILLITY, serenity, calmness 3
MIND — UNFEELING, hardhearted 1
MIND — VERSES, makes 1
MIND — WALKING — air; in the open — amel. mental symptoms 1
MIND — WALKING — desire for 1
MIND — WEEPING — alone, when 1
MIND — WEEPING — amel. 1
MIND — WEEPING — menses — during 1
MIND — YIELDING disposition 1





HEAD — HAIR — dryness 1
HEAD — HAIR — greasy 1
HEAD — HEAVINESS — painful 1
HEAD — PAIN — Brain, aching deep in 1
HEAD — PAIN — Brain, aching deep in — waking, on 1
HEAD — PAIN — Forehead, in — eyes — above 1
HEAD — PAIN — Forehead, in — eyes — above — afternoon 1
HEAD — PAIN — Forehead, in — eyes — above — left 1
HEAD — PAIN — Forehead, in — eyes — above — pulsating 1
HEAD — PAIN — Forehead, in — eyes — above — right 1
HEAD — PAIN — Forehead, in — eyes — behind 1
HEAD — PAIN — Occiput — afternoon 1
HEAD — PAIN — Occiput — pulsating 1
HEAD — PAIN — Sides — right 1
HEAD — PAIN — Temples — right 1
HEAD — PAIN — air — open — amel. 1
HEAD — PAIN — drugs, after abuse of 1
HEAD — PAIN — dull pain 1
HEAD — PAIN — evening 1
HEAD — PAIN — menses — before 1
HEAD — PAIN — noise, from 1
HEAD — PAIN — pressing — Forehead 1
HEAD — PAIN — pressing — Sides — right 1
HEAD — PAIN — pulsating 1
HEAD — PAIN — pulsating — air — open — amel. 1
HEAD — PAIN — shooting 1
HEAD — PAIN — shooting — Forehead — eyes, over — right 1
HEAD — PAIN — shooting — evening 1
HEAD — PAIN — sleep — loss of — from late hours 1
HEAD — PAIN — walking — air — open; in the — while 1
HEAD — PAIN — weather — warm, begins with the 1
HEAD — PERSPIRATION of scalp — hot 1


EYE — DISCHARGES — yellow 1
EYE — PAIN — burning — evening 1
EYE — PAIN — burning — lachrymation, with 1
EYE — SWELLING — Lids — under the lids 1
EYE — TIRED expression — sensation 1


VISION — COLORS before the eyes — red 1
VISION — FOGGY — headache, during 1


EAR — NOISES in — ringing 1
EAR — STOPPED sensation 1
EAR — STOPPED sensation — right 1


NOSE — SMELL — acute 1
NOSE — SMELL — diminished 1
NOSE — SNEEZING — afternoon 1
NOSE — SNEEZING — frequent 1
NOSE — SNEEZING — night 1


FACE — ERUPTIONS — Mouth — around 1
FACE — ERUPTIONS — menses — before 1
FACE — ERUPTIONS — menses — during 1
FACE — ERUPTIONS — pimples 1
FACE — NUMBNESS — left 1
FACE — PAIN — Jaw — articulation 1


MOUTH — BLEEDING — Gums — cleaning them, when 1
MOUTH — PAIN — sore — Gums 1
MOUTH — SALIVATION — dryness — sensation of, with 1
MOUTH — TASTE — dry — food tastes 1
MOUTH — TASTE — metallic 1
MOUTH — TASTE — sweetish 1
MOUTH — ULCERS — painful 1


TEETH — SENSITIVE, tender — brushing 1


THROAT — DRYNESS — painful 1
THROAT — DRYNESS — thirst, without 1
THROAT — PAIN — left 1
THROAT — PAIN — night 1
THROAT — PAIN — sore 1
THROAT — PAIN — sore — night 1
THROAT — PAIN — splinter — as from a 1
THROAT — SWELLING — Tonsils — left 1


STOMACH — APPETITE — diminished 1
STOMACH — APPETITE — diminished — morning 1
STOMACH — APPETITE — diminished — noon 1
STOMACH — APPETITE — increased (hunger in general) 1
STOMACH — APPETITE — wanting 1
STOMACH — APPETITE — wanting — hunger, with 1
STOMACH — APPETITE — wanting — noon 1
STOMACH — APPETITE — wanting — thirst — with 1
STOMACH — ERUCTATIONS — drinking, after 1
STOMACH — ERUCTATIONS — eating — after 1
STOMACH — FULLNESS, sensation of — eating — after 1
STOMACH — NAUSEA — eating — while 1
STOMACH — NAUSEA — evening 1
STOMACH — NAUSEA — sleep — after 1
STOMACH — PAIN — lying — amel. 1
STOMACH — THIRST — evening 1


ABDOMEN — DISTENSION — eating — after 1
ABDOMEN — FLATULENCE — obstructed 1
ABDOMEN — FULLNESS, sensation of 1
ABDOMEN — HEAT — Hypogastrium 1
ABDOMEN — ITCHING — Hypogastrium 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — Sides — right 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — burning — Sides — left 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — cramping, griping — evening 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — cramping, griping — menses — during 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — eating — after 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — motion, on 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — night 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — sore — touch, on 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — stitching — Hypogastrium 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — stitching — Hypogastrium — afternoon 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — stitching — Sides — eating, after 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — stitching — Sides — right 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — touching — agg. 1
ABDOMEN — PAIN — twisting 1


RECTUM — CONSTIPATION — home, when away from 1


STOOL — FORCIBLE, sudden, gushing 1
STOOL — ODOR — liver; like cooked 1


MALE GENITALIA/SEX — SEXUAL DESIRE — increased — erections — without 1
MALE GENITALIA/SEX — SEXUAL DESIRE — increased — relaxed genitals; with 1
MALE GENITALIA/SEX — SEXUAL DESIRE — wanting — erections — without 1


FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — appear — as if menses would appear 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — cease — suddenly 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — clotted — large clots 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — fluid blood contains clots 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — frequent, too — seven days 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — late, too — two days 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — painful, dysmenorrhea 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — painful, dysmenorrhea — beginning, at 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — painful, dysmenorrhea — lying — amel. 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — return — ceased; after having 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — return — menopause, after 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — MENSES — short, too — two or three days 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — Ovaries — left 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — Ovaries — lying — amel. 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — Ovaries — ovulation, at 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — Ovaries — right 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — Uterus — lying — down 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — Uterus — menses — beginning; at 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — cramping — Uterus — menses — during 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — cutting — Ovaries 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — cutting — Uterus 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — lancinating — Ovaries 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — lancinating — Uterus 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — sharp — Ovaries 1
FEMALE GENITALIA/SEX — PAIN — stitching — Uterus 1








CHEST — PAIN — Mammae — touch, on 1
CHEST — PAIN — Sternum — Behind 1
CHEST — PAIN — burning 1
CHEST — PAIN — cough, during 1
CHEST — PAIN — pressing 1
CHEST — PAIN — sore, bruised — Mammae 1
CHEST — PAIN — sore, bruised — Mammae — menses — before 1
CHEST — SWELLING — Mammae — menses — before 1


BACK — ERUPTIONS — boils — Cervical region 1
BACK — PAIN — Cervical region 1
BACK — PAIN — Lumbar region 1
BACK — PAIN — aching — menses — during 1
BACK — PAIN — afternoon 1
BACK — PAIN — cramping — Dorsal region — scapulae — between 1
BACK — PAIN — dragging 1
BACK — PAIN — dragging — Lumbar region — menses — during 1
BACK — PAIN — evening 1
BACK — PAIN — extending to — heels 1
BACK — PAIN — extending to — lower extremities 1
BACK — PAIN — lifting, from 1
BACK — PAIN — lying — amel. 1
BACK — PAIN — lying — while 1
BACK — PAIN — morning — rising; on 1
BACK — PAIN — morning — waking, on 1
BACK — PAIN — sitting — while 1
BACK — PAIN — standing — while 1
BACK — PAIN — waking, on 1
BACK — PAIN — warm — applications — amel. 1


EXTREMITIES — CRACKING in joints — Lower limbs, joints of 1
EXTREMITIES — DISCOLORATION — redness — blotches 1
EXTREMITIES — ERUPTIONS — Fingers — phagedenic blisters 1
EXTREMITIES — ERUPTIONS — Fingers — third finger 1
EXTREMITIES — ERUPTIONS — Fingers — vesicles — ulcers, becoming 1
EXTREMITIES — ERUPTIONS — Forearm — urticaria 1
EXTREMITIES — ERUPTIONS — Leg — urticaria 1
EXTREMITIES — ERUPTIONS — Shoulder — boils 1
EXTREMITIES — ITCHING — Foot — evening 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — Ankle — left 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — Ankle — morning 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — Ankle — morning — walking 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — Ankle — right 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — Knee — right 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — Lower limbs — labor like 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — Thigh — anterior part 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — Thigh — anterior part — near groin 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — Thigh — inguinal region; near 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — aching — Lower limbs — menses, during 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — burning — Lower limbs 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — sore, bruised — Toes — fifth 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — sprained, as if — Ankle 1
EXTREMITIES — PAIN — sprained, as if — Ankle — left 1
EXTREMITIES — RESTLESSNESS — Lower limbs — menses, during 1
EXTREMITIES — TINGLING — Upper limbs — left 1


SLEEP — UNREFRESHING — afternoon 1
SLEEP — WAKING — night — midnight — after — 4 h 1
SLEEP — WAKING — night — midnight — after — 5 h 1
SLEEP — WAKING — night — midnight — after — morning, toward 1


DREAMS — CHILDREN; about — babies — drowned, a baby is being 1
DREAMS — CITIES — jungle encroaching on each other, and 1
DREAMS — CONFIDENT and assertive, she is 1
DREAMS — COUNTRY — beautiful 1
DREAMS — DEATH — dying — he is 1
DREAMS — DEATH — husband; of her 1
DREAMS — DROWNING — baby is being drowned, a 1
DREAMS — ELDERS, respect for 1
DREAMS — FORSAKEN — everyone, by 1
DREAMS — HAIR — cut; having hair 1
DREAMS — MOTHER — illness of her 1
DREAMS — MUD, stuck in 1
DREAMS — SOCIETY and community 1
DREAMS — UNREMEMBERED — as if a door shut 1
DREAMS — WATER — rivers 1
DREAMS — WATER — washing 1
DREAMS — WINDOW — making a 1


SKIN — CICATRICES — break open 1


GENERALS — AIR — open air — amel. 1
GENERALS — AIR — open air — desire for 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — chocolate — agg. 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — chocolate — desire 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — cold drink, cold water — desire 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — dry food — aversion 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — eggs — desire 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — fat — desire 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — fruit — desire 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — fruit — desire — juicy fruits 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — ice cream — desire 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — sweets — desire 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — sweets — desire — menses; before 1
GENERALS — FOOD and DRINKS — warm drinks — desire 1
GENERALS — MENSES — before 1
GENERALS — MENSES — during — agg. 1
GENERALS — MOON — full moon — agg. 1
GENERALS — TOBACCO — aversion to 1


Female aged 46.

The patient complained of a loss of energy and muscle weakness over the last 5 months.

Tests showed a that she was peri-menopausal with a low T.S.H.

She felt a constant pressure in the forehead which felt like vertigo. «My head is never comfortable.»

Her symptoms are accompanied by anxiety. She worries constantly about her elderly parents who live next door and from whom she has never been able to separate. «I never got over the separation anxiety of childhood. I never married because I could never bear to leave them. I will not be able to continue living in my house next to theirs when they die so I feel permanently uprooted. I can’t ground or root myself as it will all be swept away when my parents die.»

A lot of changes at work had further intensified this feeling of being ungrounded.

When she was 2 years old her family moved to Singapore where her mother had a miscarriage and went into a severe depression. At that time she had a recurring dream that her mother was locked in a tower and she was unable to reach her.

As a child she moved into a world of her own imagination, a fantasy world as she found school difficult. She did not emerge from this fantasy world until she was 16.

She is on a constant search for spiritual enlightenment. «I believe in balancing the world in a more feminine way.»

Once when focussing on silver in a meditation she had an image of the world covered in gold. Gradually silver threads began to appear and moved through the gold taking its place so that slowly the world became silver.

She has many vivid and active dreams. She often dreams of being in a large house and of going from room to room. Some rooms are threatening, some sad with the discarded toys of her childhood.

One month later:

She developed sciatica for 4 days and then gradually the vertigo and discomfort in the head improved.

Her vision changed she had to return to a prescription for glasses that she had used 4 years previously. She said her left eye had never looked straight forward before but now was doing so.

There was a great amelioration of the weakness in the legs which was evident in her much improved performance at the gym.

She had a lot of dreams which were tinged with sadness.

Three months later:

Tests showed her thyroid to be functioning normally.

The loss of energy and muscle weakness had continued to improve and she felt she was developing the symptoms of menopause.